Hi beauties! Happy Monday!
Time to cut to the chase, pour a glass and let's get real. Today is about YOU!
As I have said before, I did have two previous blog sites (linked above on the home page) because I wanted so badly to have something of my own to do or to represent myself I guess? But it ended to be way more complicated than that. My first blog was More Issues Than Vogue, a fashion and beauty blog because doesn't everyone at some point try to become Jaclyn Hill and Manny MUA? Because it was my first site, I wanted to be fully dedicated to it... but then it got to be too forced. Trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about considering I was posting twice a week was not the easiest job to do. There's only so much I know about fashion and beauty and apparently it was barely anything. I obviously stopped due to that stress. This was supposed to be fun? I started another blog, A Cupcake and Cocktail, a blunt and spicy blog because I missed writing so much. Then life happened as soon as I started to where I physically and mentally could not participate in it and when I did it wasn't "me"... so that ended as well. Joy. But now here I am again, surprise surprise, but I'm doing this for me because I need to hear the words I am going to write to you. No "theme", no deadlines, no forced conversations. I have experienced way too much in my 22 years and have learned even more, it's time to really take this serious and enjoy what I do. I love writing more than anything and am so passionate about the topics I write on. I want this to be a place where ladies and gents feel comfortable and will get something out of my words as I learn from myself and them as well!
When I had my blogs in the past, my mindset was not clear. I was distracted, I was overthinking my posts, I was stressing the popularity of it, I was insecure about my writing and just myself in general. Mindset is a very powerful thing. I began to read books from life coaches. Self-help practices are something I take very seriously and am so very involved in. I started with Jen Sincero, if you read my previous blogs you definitely know about Jen. Her book You Are A Badass completely changed my life, I HIGHLY recommend it. My mind was finally clear, positive and overly confident, at least for a moment. Learning to change your mindset and your lifestyle routine can be difficult especially when life is trying to knock you down. I then listened to podcasts and read books by Sophia Amoruso, founder of the fashion brand Nasty Gal (stay tuned for her Netflix original in a few weeks, eek!). Finally I discovered my role model and newly found friend/mentor... Cara Alwill Leyba. I am so blessed to have her in my life on a personal level as well as all of her other "slay babies" as she calls us. Cara's words and teachings have connected with me the most and have allowed me to create my own self-help practices that I will continue to share with you as my blog goes on. We first have to start out by getting real with ourselves. I want you to sit back from your phone or computer, close your eyes (or just really focus on something in the room that won't distract you) and really dig deep to find any negative emotion you have going through your beautiful brain. Are things stressful at work/school? Is everything smooth in your relationship? What is scaring you? How do you feel about, well, you? As you open your eyes I want you to overpower every one of those emotions with the complete opposite and positive view. One of my negative emotions included how nervous and insecure I am after a very important interview I had today... I did horrible, I should have said this or I shouldn't have done that, I won't get it, they probably think I'm a young immature child. But are any of those true? Hmm... no, I honestly nailed it, sure I should have said something different but I can't go back now so why is it bothering me, I will for sure get the job, they will love me! Instantly my entire mood changed because of flipping just a few ugly thoughts into gorgeous ones. Cara started out with a blog named The Champagne Diet, cheers to you. She always preaches on drinking to your accomplishments every day. No, not getting drunk every night, we are adults with actual responsibilities, but just toasting to something positive at the end of each day whether it be with a glass of alcohol of your choice, water, tea, coffee, milk, coke, eating some sweets, heck anything. I know what you're thinking, "I don't have something big that I accomplish each day...?" That isn't true whatsoever. You woke up, that's an accomplishment for one. Maybe you did something new at work... or took the trash out... or didn't have a viscous thought about a horrible person in your life... or honestly, how crappy of a day it was... maybe you burnt dinner... or your jeans didn't fit, amazing! There is always something that you accomplish every day and you deserve to be acknowledged for that, even if you are acknowledging yourself! You might say, uh I am not acknowledging that I'm not happy with my health or body? Why not...? We all have flaws and it's important to know that they are there but to continue to accept it even if you are unhappy. But that's what hurts our minds. Everyone talks about how "tiny" I am because I am 5"2' and 114 lbs, but I am so self conscious of my weight. I've never been satisfied with it. But instead of being down on myself about it, I do things that make me feel more beautiful... wearing an oversized sweatshirt or wearing a sassy nightgown and always wearing flawless shoes... telling myself I am going to be confident and actually faking it til I make it changed my mindset to say, yes I am confident... what else can I love about myself and be confident in? All of the teachings I have learned from my readings and from my own practices, I discovered the 21/90 day lifestyle change in order to really make a difference in my life to put these lessons into play. It takes 21 days to create a new "habit" or routine then after 90 days it becomes your new lifestyle. Again, this is difficult to start but very much worth it. I am around day 15 or 16 in my newest change and I can already tell a difference when I slack on some of my "habits". This week I encourage you to take a moment and make a list of things you want your life to look like on a daily basis. Do you want to wake up earlier, maybe make your bed or actually fix a sit down breakfast? Do you want to read instead of watching TV before bed? Eat healthier? Start a new hobby? Find a new job? Cheers to your daily accomplishments? Find something that makes you feel sparkly and glowing from the inside out, it may be tricky but it'll be exciting too. Spend time with yourself away from the toxic technology and watch your world instantly become brighter. Then make a list of how you want to be as a person. Who do you admire or want to be like? Why do you feel that way about them? What characteristics do they have that you lack? Find those and practice them. If you don't have anyone like that, how do you want to be? What characteristics do you lack that you wish you had? What can you do to fix that? Go to sleep every night planning on how to make the next day better than the previous, when you wake up in the morning, do just that. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you... it seems weird the first few times but who else will love you more than you are able to love yourself? You need to know how to love yourself because that is the key to having that positive and glorious mindset that will make such an impact.
Have a fierce week, babes. Clear your mind and love yourself in a new way!
Xoxo, MJ