My fabulous ladies and gents!
I'm sorry it has taken me longer than I had planned to write the "second part" per say or even just the next post. Getting back in the swing of the last part of my senior year semester after spring break took a lot more effort than I thought, but I will say I have gotten a lot done, with school/work and with myself!
Before I get into today's topic, I want to share some of my accomplishments I've made this week so far in my own lifestyle change!
I dealt with some obstacles last week (on my spring break, go figure); friendships, mental illness, physical illness, a big job disappointment and just an ugly slump. Though the people I was conflicting with did not think I "handled" the situation the way I should in their eyes, I did what was best for me and keeping me in a positive realm. There are two sides to every story and though I have a reason for everything I do or say, I don't have to explain myself because let's be real, people will only acknowledge what they want to. My mental and physical illness... eh, gotta do whatcha gotta do to feel better. I was nominated for an extremely honorable title and internship called "Public Relations Student of the Year" and whoever won after four rounds received a highly paid internship and a 99% chance of getting hired on afterwards with this very respected PR Firm in Kentucky. After three rounds of working so hard towards winning, they decided to cancel the competition. I was crushed... so I assume my ugly slump was just the after math of feeling like complete garbage from the overload of pain I was in. I had to pick myself up. I started going to the gym everyday (okay, it's only been five days so far but it's a start), I meal prepped food that I will actually enjoy while getting healthy snacks, I've dressed up every day, I have started a new life-coaching girls group (for more info, subscribe and contact me!), I've confided in some of my girl boss girlfriends for advice, I have distanced myself from many people and I put in applications for at least ten positions. Though I still have a lot of changes to make, I know I am off to a great start. What have you done this week to overcome some challenges or just some lifestyle changes you have added to your routine? I want to know, comment or contact me to brag!
For those who didn't understand the title, yes, it is part of the Fifth Harmony (now Fourth Harmony, lol) song, BO$$. I love this song because it is very powerful in the feminist community. Last post we were talking about how it is okay to not be okay, right? So what do you do after you've faced your dark emotions? You pick yourself up and show those ugly demons inside and around you who truly is BOSS! We have to be confident in who we are. Some people think confidence is cockiness, depends. Some think confidence is faked, though you can fake it sometimes; it's really hard to fake. But overall, people see confidence as powerful and respectable, that is our goal. Confidence is just self-love in a characteristic. It is by no means something to run from, it's something you want to run to and owwwwwn! When I first think of confidence, I truly think of someone like Meryl Streep or Anne Hathoway in The Devil Wears Prada. You know what I mean; the way they hold themselves, the way they are bowed down to in a room, how fashionable and clean they look but also absolutely killing their careers. But that isn't necessarily what confidence is about. You don't have to be the demanding cold stone in the room to be confident, you just have to feel like the best you that you can be. So, how do we accomplish our own version of our confidence? Well, that depends. Sit back right now and consider what you think of when you think of the word "confidence". Is it the way you're dressed? A successful accomplishment? A simple pearly white smile to flash at people? Is it who you're surrounded with or the location your surrounded by? What do you feel will truly make that boost of confidence in your daily life? This will be different for everyone. To start, Forbes listed 12 things "truly confident" people do... let's dig down deep to see what we think:
1) They get their happiness from within: YESSSS. This is exactly what we are overall trying to get in our lives. Finding happiness in other ways than depending on someone else or something else for happiness. What makes you truly happy? Write down a few things... we'll get back to it.
2) They do not pass judgement on other people: Exactly! Why should we judge people when we can help build them up as well. I am very bad at this, I can be very judgmental, it's just out of habit, but does that make me more confident? No. It makes me a b*tch.
3) They don't say "yes" unless they truly want to: I was confused about this one. You always hear "always say yes, be adventurous" but Forbes described this statement as: you are confident enough to say no to things, you don't have to do everything asked of you. Try this. Say yes to things you are fearful of, but say no to things you don't truly need or that will stress you out. This will create confidence because you learn to be strong in that sense.
4) They listen more than they speak: Hmm, what do you think? I'm not really sure if I have an opinion on this.
5) They speak with certainty: THIS! Confidence is being able to stand your ground, speak with certainty as you are not fearful of what the outcome will be. Don't doubt yourself no matter what the subject, own it!
6) They seek out victories: Of course we want to seek out victories! Each victory we accomplish adds that much more confidence to our bodies, it gives off a hyped vibe that will continue to make us seek these victories.
7) They exercise: Yes, exercise as in working out. I am not a fan of the gym either, but getting your body right and healthy will completely turn your confidence upside down. Not only exercising your body into shape, we have to exercise our mind into shape as well. Do things that will keep you positive, things you are passionate about, things that will expand your imagination... anything that you feel will keep your mind clear. It will make a world of a difference.
8) They don't seek attention: This is a serious subject. As I was saying before, usually people think confidence means being the demanding stone cold person who is always needing to be the center of attention... no, that is what cocky people do. There is a difference. Confident people know where they stand, aren't afraid to be that, but doesn't need to have the spotlight on them. I'm not saying you have to hide and be overly humble, don't ever hide and it's great to show off at times, but there is always line that cannot be crossed.
9) They aren't afraid to be wrong: This is goes along with the last few points. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in but know that is is okay to be wrong and learn from that.
10) They "stick their neck out" (go for what they want without fear): Again, when reading that title, I automatically was confused. Doesn't sticking your neck out mean the same thing as like holding your chin high? And to me, both of those sound negative to me. But as I read the description, Forbes described it as going after what they want. That is what confident people do. GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT! Don't talk yourself out of it or let anyone else talk you out of it. They don't know what is best for you, you do. And if it is risky, go for it even more! So what if you fail? Pick yourself up and try again until you get what you want. Regroup and retry.
11) They celebrate others: This goes along with some of the past ones, as well. Why try to be the center of attention when you can share the spotlight with so many other amazing people who are achieving some great things! This might be hard for some, it's hard for me, but once you share accomplishments with others, you feel that much more rewarded.
12) They aren't afraid to ask for help: Never be too prideful to ask for help. That is how you get places in the world. It's great to have connections and it's even better to feel confident enough to know you can't do it alone.
So, now that we have broken down each section that Forbes created, let's create our own. What are 5 things that YOU feel creates a confident person? More specifically what will create confidence in YOU? This week, I challenge you to slowly but surely add in things that will create confidence in your personal life, friendships/relationship, career and even future life. Let's be honest, this will take time and it will take a lot of patience in order to full add into your life. Some things my Slay Babies mentioned they do in order to add creative confidence in their life included making a vision board or a happiness board, sticking positive sticky notes all over their house to remind them their beauty, a "confidence jar" where they write different characteristics they need in their life and pick out a different one each day to focus on and practice. Think of some things you lack that you need. Find your happiness from within as stated in 1, heck, find a few things that make you feel happy from within, then find a time at least once a week to sit down and regroup to see how you feel. Each week write down the difference in how you feel from the week before, you'll grow to see how your entire life will be altered. Subscribe and message me what you are doing this week to make this type of change!
I'm very excited to share a few upcoming things that will be happening with Xoxo, MJ. I am SO VERY THANKFUL for all of my followers and supporters, you don't understand what the love you all have given me has done.
I will be featuring my FIRST GUEST in my next post, so please be on the lookout for that! As for now, have a great weekend and make this upcoming week YOURS! Let me know what changes you are making, how your confidence has grown and any accomplishments you've made... brag to me!
Xoxo, MJ
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