I admit it, I'm officially the WORST blogger in the world. Let me keep it real with you though, I am just like every single one of you reading right now... I have a crazy busy life, blogging isn't my career like majority of bloggers (though that would be AMAZING).
If you follow my personal social media accounts, I have explained why I just up and leave my blogs for months at a time or end up deleting them; my mind considers things that make me happy to be an incentive as long as everything around me is on track, if my surroundings aren't how I *think* they should be, I drop everything else. I stop writing, I stop doing my makeup/beauty routines like I normally do, I stop reading, I stop self care and self love practices, I stop fashion... I stop all of my hobbies/passions. That's not how it should be! Those things are supposed to be there as a get-a-way to keep you sane and happy!!
As I was talking to one of my blogging besties this week, I was explaining to her why I haven't been myself... I am unhappy with my job, I spend my days busy at work while also looking for another job at the same time, I leave work and go straight to practice and not get home until 9:30pm, don't eat regularly because I don't have time so I shower and go to sleep then do the same thing all over again Monday through Sunday. I don't have friends back in my hometown anymore, and you all know I am not a relationship person but lately have felt ready to try again but talk myself out of it it because of not having time or when I did put myself out there to a guy, I started to overthink it and stopped. I started to realize... why am I doing this to myself? Yes, I am SO busy and never have time for myself, but the reason I am so overwhelmed, stressed, unhappy, fill in the blank, is because I don't MAKE time for myself and because I focus only on the negatives. I preach about self love and being the best version of you, doing things that make you enjoy yourself, but when it comes to myself, I have completely ignored it.
I began looking for journaling topics on Pinterest to clear my mind and figure out what I need to do in order to find myself again and understand what needs to be changed to find happiness through all of the stress. I found a "30 Questions for Self Discovery" that I will be vulnerable enough to answer in front of you. I challenge you to sit back this week, make time for yourself, ask yourself some of these questions and figure out what is weighing you down then make that change!!
Xoxo, MJ
"30 Questions for Self Discovery"
1.) How do I feel at the moment?
Numb
2.) What do I need more of in my life?
Stability and genuine happiness
3.) What would make me happy right now?
A career in the field I graduated in, friends in my area, my own apartment, getting back to blogging
4.) What is going right in my life?
My growing faith
5.) What am I grateful for? At least 10 things.
**This was hard**
1. My family 6. My cheer team
2. My friends 7. Things that I have
3. My church/faith 8.
4. My health (sometimes) 9.
5. My home 10.
6.) When did I experience joy this week?
I really wish I could answer this question... n/a
7.) List all of my small victories and successes.
Graduation
8.) What's bothering me? Why?
I don't have any free time and am stressed about not having a job that I enjoy, friends, boyfriend and the transition
from living alone to living back at home
9.) What are my priorities at the moment?
Finding a job and getting back to the version of myself that I am happy with/proud of
10.) What do I love about myself?
My independence and drive
11.) Who means the world to me and why?
My immediate family and pupper... they are what keep me going
12.) If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
God's got this. Be patient and know He has a bigger plan than you ever would for yourself, trust Him
13.) What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice now?)
Do NOT let toxic people continue to step all over you... get away from them the first time they treat you poorly
Yes, I learned my lesson and will follow this until the day I die... not worth it
14.) What lesson did I learn this week?
It's okay for things to not go as planned, you can't take things personally
15.) If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?
Travel or move
16.) What's draining my energy? How can I reduce or cut it out?
STRESS. Learn to not worry about things that I can't control... let things play out the way they are going to
17.) What does my ideal morning look like?
A prayer, a beauty routine, a cup of coffee (outdoors, preferably) and overall NO RUSH
18.) What does my ideal day look like?
Doing something that I love at all moments of the day
19.) What makes me come alive? When was the last time I felt truly alive?
I truly have yet to find this out about myself... the last time I truly felt "alive" was probably back in March or April
20.) What/Who inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those inspirations?
I have several role models who inspire me, all for similar but different reasons.
My dear friend Cara Alwill Leyba, Carli Bybel, my sister and Ariana Grande (lol)
21.) Where does my pain originate? What would need to happy for me to heal?
The fear of the unknown and the struggle of things not going as planned***
I need to get back to my old self, going with the flow and staying motivated
22.) What are my strengths? What am I really good at?
Lifting others up and staying true to myself
23.) What is something I've always wanted to do but was too scared?
Going on a get-a-way by myself. I would LOVE to take a weekend to myself somewhere to clear my mind and enjoy time away
24.) What is something I would love to learn?
SIGN LANGUAGE!!
25.) What hobbies would I like to try?
Not try, but enjoy... working out, meh
26.) Where would I want to live in my ideal life?
Wherever life takes me but I would love to be in South Carolina
27.) Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
Bora, Bora or the Maldives!!!
28.) What can I do to take better care of myself?
Create a new routine/get out of a routine
29.) When have I done something that I thought I couldn't do?
N/a
30.) At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?
Still figuring that out... the best is yet to come
Σχόλια